Non negotiable self care

I write this as my kids watch their ‘non-negotiable’ CBeebies; always at 3pm, always a time when I don’t wash dishes, clean the house or put on laundry; I always do something just for me. 

We have been in lockdown for over 12 weeks now which means almost 3 months of the invisible load of motherhood. Juggling working, children, housework, feeling guilty for not keeping up, feeling guilty for not schooling correctly, keeping kids quiet for calls, trying to stay sane, the list goes on. Within all these to do’s and multiple mothering roles where is the item that reads ‘non negotiable self care’? I bet that does not feature on your list often, if at all, during this time. 

Self care is not selfish and I wish us mothers could change the narrative around our own needs. As a reflexologist I specialise in self care for mums, running workshops (now online) to give women the confidence to say what they need and ignore the mental load society has put on us. 


If there is one thing I urge all mums to do today it is to create a daily ‘non-negotiable’; an activity that is just for you and is sacred every day. This could be daily yoga, learning to draw or making yourself a delicious coffee and drinking it hot (not cold as we always tend to do!). To give you an example, mine are: an early walk in nature every morning (my husband does the kids breakfast); a delicious smoothie that I make every morning; and Joe Wicks PE (my kids kind of join in but also know that it is part of our daily routine).

All of these require carving out time and my family understanding that it is my time. 

Getting the family on board might take time but if you are consistent and also committed to yourself you will be able to make positive adjustments to your routines. 

What will yours be? 

If you want to chat about anything written here or find out more about reflexology and my self care workshops, feel free to get in touch. I am currently running online reflexology sessions and self care workshops during lockdown. Self care

This article was published on The Mothership.